Tired!

Well.. I'm now super shack!!

Was yesterday in camp doing P1, so therefore did not bk out yesterday.. but I sumhow got an advantage over it, becos' its like 2230 need to bk in, so dun bk out also good..

Today as usual, got rehearsals.. but today's rehearsals are much more shiong than the usual days, becos today is the last rehearsal before the actual parade which is on Thurs (1/9).. then its like since morning, there are debates as to whether I will mount duty on fri (2/9) or sat (3/9).. when I ask my officer, he can't even confirm!!
haiz.. this actually affects me as to whether I'm going to Tjow's wedding on Sun (4/9).. but I guess whether my presence/attendance is there or not, it doesn't really matter.. becos' Tjow has found a stand-by pianist who will play the piano and she is definitely much more accomplished than me (she is none other than Xinyi!!).. she went for the worship practices which I didn't, becos' I was too tired to attend any (after a 24 hr duty at camp!! wat u expect??)! So hope she wld improve in her playing, by applying the skills I've taught/shown her like 2-3 wks ago?? *keeps fingers cross!*

So its like me now (becos' of GOH practices and stuff), have not been attending church frequently.. (to be exact, did not attend church like close to 4-6 mths liaoz!).. in the end, I felt very away frm church.. so its like everytime I go to church, I will always get this weird feeling (sometimes I dun even feel like going, but I force myself to go!).. I dun koe lah.. I've got this feeling tat I'm now like more closer to my camp mates rather than my church friends! Its not like my church friends dun care abt me or dun talk to me and stuff, they actually do! But its tat feeling which I cannot describe! haiz.. Am I drifting further away frm God or wat?? *headache*

haiz.. shall spare myself frm this headache.. anyway, I'm really tired.. I actually can sleep in the afternoon, but becos I've being summoned by my officer to sign something, and in actually an hour later, I can go up to bunk and sleep.. but my officer never let me too! He actually wanted me to accompany him.. haiz.. so I didn't sleep loh.. =(

ok.. now super tired.. think I'm gonna sleep soon! had not slept on my bed for like 9 days! man.. today muz treasure my bed! ha..

Still shack cannot think ?!?,
<<< abriel >>>

What a week (Part 2)!!

Well.. its certainly a very tiring week for me!!

Its like rehearsals on Fri frm 8am-12pm.. then, go back bunk.. then I like get ready for yesterday's mounting parade.. by ironing my clothes, starch my clothing, etc..

So its like when its like minutes to decision of whether I wld bk out, I wld like hesitating.. before coming to a conclusion tat I wld NOT bk out on Friday, becos' very lazy to come back frm home to camp.. moreover, yesterday mounting and got drill practice somemore for our Threat Con "Charlie" status next mth, so need more of my precious sleep.. so in total, I like once I lie on my bed and watch TV, I was in dreamland since 9.15pm and slept all the way till 6.30am the next morning.. a whopping 9 hrs sleep!! =)

So yesterday was our mounting duty.. it was certainly filled with much scare, becos' I was afraid I did not have enuf sleep for the day becos' of the consecutive drill schedules and my duty schedules.. but thank God, it was ok as reflected yesterday.. not so bad lah.. I did not really carry out the drill.. I juz noted the pts and stuff.. but I koe where exactly the pt is lah.. and wat I can say is tat these drills are really torturing and tiring.. so its like once you do this drill, you wld be shack man!!

But despite all these 2 things, I wish to thank God for the following:

(a) At last, after 1 yr, I've been promoted to Corporal (CPL) rank w.e.f. 01 Sept 2005! Yeh!! been waiting this for so long!! so increase rank = increase pay = increase amt of responisbility = increase amt of sia-gang!!
But ya.. at least I've got promoted! =)
So today went to Beach Road to sew 4 uniforms with CPL rank (becos' my sgt said on Friday when we mount, we need to wear the CPL uniform!).. so ya.. but I've still got some period where I still have to wear my LCP uniform.. so next wkend, need to go back to Beach Road to sew another 2 uniforms.. haiz.. =(
But be happy ya!]

(b) Today the other shift officer was asking me whether I want to be the CISCO duty personnel when I mount duty becos' in his mind, I was chosen to be a CISCO personnel.. for the CISCO duty personnel, its like I dun need to carry any load (eg: SBOs) during duty.. I will carry a P226 gun in future (which is similar to wat the police is carrying now.. its like a pistol!) instead of my M16.. so of course, this is good.. but the bad thing is tat I've to like tah main gate and the front gate of my base (aka Toranto Gate) for the rest of my NSF life.. its super sian.. but do I have a choice?? NO!! Even though I said no, but then the officer still told my sgts tat 4 of us will go for CISCO personnel training.. haiz.. but still have to thank God right?? Becos' not all ppl can become CISCO!.. well.. guess with great power, comes great responsibility! ehh.. isn't tat familiar! ha..

However, the bad thing abt today is tat I've to like go back to camp later at 2230 becos' tml have RSAF day rehersal at Tengnah Air Base again.. argghh.. super shack!!

Signing off now.. want to go out and watch some TV and watch the NDP 2005 video which I've recorded like weeks ago, but no chance to watch! ha..

Shack cannot think,
<<< abriel >>>

What a week!

Allo!! Was scheduled to come back and blog like fri or sun.. but then a miracle happened!! My CO (the boss in my squadron) actually gave us a half day off.. was actually like sleeping and very pissed off when the slightest thing wld irritate me (becos' not enuf sleep mah!).. but when I heard abt the bk-out early thing, then, its like whippie!! woke up suddenly!

Anyway, the RSAF Day rehearsals were shacked sia!! today did like 2 consecutive full runs.. with each run last abt 45 mins.. and in between only have like 10 mins of rest, but it is used for us to change into our uniforms and stuff, so it can be considered as not having any rest lah.. haiz.. then guess wat.. during the last final run itself (its a vetting parade mind u!), someone in GOH fainted!! see wat they did to us!! GOH is the somewhat 'overly dressed' party.. with our clothings being a 2 piece and in long sleeve and under the hot sun, no wonder tat GOH personnel fainted!! fortunately, its not my base, or else, my base lose face sia!

oh.. then during the few days I've been to the RSAF Day rehearsals, I kept seeing ppl then I knew (like my BMT Section Mate, BMT Company Mate and my primary & secondary friend).. its not only me loh.. the rest of the my friends also saw their friends.. this shows how small the world can be!! Anyway, those tat we saw are those officer cadets, and they wld pass out (or shld I say commissioned) on 01/10/2005.. so ya.. its our batch ppl, so naturally, we wld see them lah!

ok lah.. I think I've spoken enuf.. not too sure whether shld I bk out tml, becos' its like midnight need to go back and the next day, we wld mount duty for 24 hrs!! this is siong sia! see how lah =)

ok.. gtg.. use the computer long enuf.. dun want to waste electricity.. save money!! =)

Warriors of the sky,
<<< abriel >>>

A short post..

Well.. a short post before I leave hse and go back to camp.. dun think I will bk out a lot of times this wk, becos' I will be required to reach camp like before 10.30pm almost everyday.. so no point bking out.. waste money only.. but I will miss my bed.. haiz.. =(

oh.. so ya.. currently very 'high' becos' I download a lot of Junyang's videos and stuff.. haha.. me is 'chasing idol' fever.. haha..

ok.. here is a true story (but very funny) to share with you all before I go (heard this on the radio this morning on Class 95FM, during Venetta Lopez shift:

Police research to block out rioters in a certain country:

- A goo gun:
ruled out becos' the goo is too sticky and it is a health risk becos' it may suffocate the victims.

- A gun which shoots tennis balls:
ruled out too becos' it is highly inaccurate

- A gun which shoots out water which is stored in a form of a backpack:
ruled out becos' the recoil for both the police officer and the victim is too great, which means tat it not only make the victim lose his/her balance but also the police officer which uses the gun.

- Venetta then suggest, if this happens in Singapore, why dun the police use a gun which shoots out durian husks or you can simply throw the durian husks instead of shooting them with the gun?

hahaz.. funny rite..

oopss.. times up.. I've got to go.. think will catch u all on Sun or sumthing on cyberspace where u will c my blog updates.. so in the meantime, if you need to contact or chat with me, feel free to SMS me ya.. call also can becos' I free incoming.. haha.. ok.. got to run..

Back to camp,
<<< abriel >>>

Shack!!

Just came back frm duty at camp.. now super shack!.. was supposed to go to Tjow's wedding worship practice at 3pm at church office, but then I dun think I can "tong" lohz.. Tired sia!! So its me back to com, write this short post and I think I will either sleep or watch the NDP 2005 Parade which I've taped but have not watched yet!! See wat the plan lahz..

Ok.. tired liaoz.. need to sleep.. got to run!!

"Shack cannot think",
<<< abriel >>>

A blogpost to pass time..

Hi peepz.. Currently in camp writing this blogpost on paper, and then transferred to the blogger webbie.. do this to avoid me being falling asleep during duty (was allocated a 6hr straight duty slot frm 1am-7am).. we.. will talk more later.. so here goes what happened to me over the past few days..
(This is gonna be long.. so be prepared!!)

Thursday (18/8/05)

Haiz.. wat a disappointment! Hong Junyang is out of the Project Superstar competition.. the blind man won the male champion.. He is near but yet so far.. what a disappointment!! =(..

Rumours were spreading tat even though he lost, some recording company has already signed him on to cut an album.. dun koe how true is tat.. but if his album come out, I wld definitely buy it loh! =)

Friday (19/8/05)

Went for RSAF day rehearsal in the afternoon. The rehearsal was quite ok.. except that I was in the leading file during the march in.. even though I was not the left marker or anything, but then there is a certain stress factor there! But thank God that nothing happened loh!

As usual, when we first went there, the emphasis is still with the sypporting contingent's drills.. so we GOH is like spending half our time there doing nothing! But what to do? We GOH had 3 gruelling mths of training prior to the RSAF day parade, so naturally we're good =P

Then at last, its our turn to go in, but for a full run instead.. so ya.. A bit sianz lah but most of the things is like SAF Day Parade (which I also attended), so everything was like "chicken-feed" loh! hahaz..

Then during the full run, there is this award giving ceremony.. I first thought that the award personnels were there to practice, but I was wrong.. it was actually only a stand-in practice (ie, the officer cadets frm Air Force School did the stand-in.. they are NOT the actual ppl doing the drills!)..

How I know that it was a stand-in practice, is becos one of the officer cadets whom I saw during the stand-inb practice was actually my primary and secondary school good pal, Samuel Tan Wenqiang..

At first, when I first saw him, I could not believe my eyes, thinking tat I saw the wrong person! But I firmly believe my eyes.. they can't be failing me at a point like this; becos this guy (ie, Samuel) frm far and near looks EXACTLY like him.. even the gestures tat he did, and the occasional talking which I overheard, sounds and makes me confirmed tat it was Samuel!!

However, my hopes that it was Samuel were actually dashed when during the stand-in practice (didn't koe tat it was a stand-in practice initially), becos' when the name was called, it was NOT Samuel's name but someone's else! But then, I still didn't believe my eyes is failing me! I was then determined to like SMS Samuel to see whether it was him.. hoever, somehow during the later part of the day, I was somehow "pulled back" frm asking (becos' didn't want to malu myself mahz!).. but then sometimes, I did want to make sure, and I somehow pluck out my courage to ask and I'm glad I did it!!

However, I didn't really expect the reply to be postive (ie, Samuel is really doing the stand-in).. but it turned out otherwise! Man.. it was such a coincidence mtg! But too bad he didn't saw me lah =(.. Anyway, chatted with him via SMS for quite a while.. below are some of the replies that he answered me whilst I was asking him questions via SMS.. (so long never see each other.. so practially chat a lot lah..!)

"1st October commissioning parade, then officially become officer"
"I'll be an officer at Chong Pang. Under ADSD (Air Defence System Division), Air Defence Artillery."
"Today last day at Air Force School, Mon (22/8) going to ADSD, then 3 wks later coming back to Air Force School to do drills/rehearsals for commissioning parade!"
"I spent 4 mths at OCS, then 6 mths at Air Force School.. My training as an officer is 10 gruelling mths!!"
"Don't think I will be there again to do rehearsals just like today =(, becos' I only came today to help my captain do some trials."

So ya.. the above incident of how I met Samuel during the rehearsal was in deed memorable, and thereby, making this rehearsal more meaningful!!

The rehearsal ended quite late (5.30pm to be exact), becos' the parade RSM wanted to do another run.. haiz.. so no choice loh.. but the Paya Lebar ppl have to go becos' they celebrate NDP (what the..?!?), so they left at about 4.30pm (after the first run!).. some ppl juz got the privilege lah!! =(

Anyway, after we reach base and bk out, its like 6.30pm liaoz.. but then I think, no point bking out loh.. becos' by the time I reach home, its like 7.30pm liaoz.. then 10.45pm need to leave hse to book in camp before 11.59pm.. so since like that, I dun bk out loh.. save money and can sleep earlier becos' Sat (20/8) mounting duty mah!

And so I did stay back, and went to cookhouse to try my luck as to whether still got dinner (by right, dinner end at 6.30pm), or else, its me eating instant noodles for dinner! Thank God there is still dinner after 6.30pm!! So I ate loh.. and even before I started eating, I got fuming mad with this person (Let's juz name him, "J").. here's the situation:

"J" asked someone to keep his bayonet becos' he extra P1 (in the first place, he shld keep the bayonet himself and NOT pass the bayonet to someone else, becos' no one else did it (not instructed by any sgt), and I believe they have kept their bayonets themselves!).. Anyway, this guy told me to help "J" keep his bayonet.. me being very lazy to keep it, I then ask the guy to put it somewhere safe (can't say where.. military secret!..) so as to like hide the thing, so it won't be stolen and stuff).. I told "J" where it is and when he heard where I put it, he actually "kao-pei" and asked me whether I wld like ppl to put it there if I was in his shoes.. I then sarcastically tell him "I'm sorry" to stop him frm nagging. but he continued.. I got so mad with him tat I move to the next table and had dinner all by myself.. a few familiar faces were eating at the same table as "J", and after I moved, I was thinking to myself whether they wld think I'm too petty over such stuff.. but I cld not care less liaoz.. Sitting there at the table for even more than a secong, will juz spoil my appetite and make my blood boil futher!)

So after I moved, I SMSed Samuel (the person whom I've mentioned earlier.. the officer cadet thing!!) So since after Y've moved, believe you me, I did NOT talk to him since.. even until now.. Its been 24 hrs and I have NOT spoken a word to him.. tat's how mad I am right now!! I have enuf of him.. argh..

As mentioned juz now, I didn't bk out.. so during the period of watching TV in bunk, I SMSed Samuel.. Then juz after I ended my conversation with Samuel, 15 mins later, another friend msged me.. this time, its my BMT section mate, Dennis Sim..

Its so sweet of him to wish me 1st enlistment anniversary (FYI: I was enlisted in NS on 190804 and I was an exact 1 year soldier yesterday), and he said tat to commemorate the event, he anted to meet up (along with the rest of my BMT seciton mates) at Bugis at 5pm for dinner today.. Well.. with much disappointment, I rejected him, becos' today I got duty.. so how to go??

However, I chatted with him via SMS also lahz.. as we chat, he revealed tat he koe one of my Field Defence Course (FDC) platoon mate, thru the driver course he attended.. my FDC platoon mate is named, Desmond Jack.. Desmond Jack was also attending the driver course, therefore, Dennis knew Desmond Jack.. Dennis then out of the blue asked Desmond Jack (mind you.. they same bunk somemore) whether he knew me.. and then.. of course, Desmond Jack say "yes" lahz.. but we were quite good pals in FDC.. so ya.. there they chatted, and Dennis knew frm Desmond Jack tat I was doing well.. I then replied Dennis tat life for me is not exactly a bed of roses, becos' I got kenna extras, etc.. but then, I added tat, beside extras, I also participated in various occasions as the GOH contingent! He then told me I was modest and all.. becos' I take part in GOH, and I still say 'm not doing well.. oh well.. opinion differs! =).. Man.. I really miss my BMT section mates, and I really hope I cld meet them up sometime!! Just by looking at the enlistment photos and thinking back the BMT days, certainly brings back fond memories! Man.. I think I'm gonna cry!! hahaz.. =)

I think I've spent like the past 1.5 hrs on this blogpost, and surprisingly 2 hrs of my duty has passed.. 4 hrs more of duty and I'm done for the day!! But tat wld be at 7am loh.. was actually supposed to be duty frm 1am - 5am, 7am - 9am.. but my friend want to sleep more, so he asked me take over his 5am duty whilst he take over my 7am duty! I agreed loh.. Anyway, the amt of sleep I have for my duty wld not differ tat much even after I swop duties!

So its liek after dinner at camp, watch Tv and by 7pm (*gulpz*), I slept until like 9.20pm.. woke up and go toilet and fill water bottle, and then back to sleep.. but its not really peaceful sleep.. becos' its like I did not sleep until like 10.30pm.. but then again, its not after 10.30pm, I sleep peacefully.. I woke up at intervals, and finally, its 1am and I did my duty loh!! So ya.. I think I'm starting to feel tired.. oh help!!

Ok lah.. I think this is too long for you.. sorry fopr the long post.. Thank you for your patience in reading!!

Back to duty,
<<< abriel >>>

14 months to ORD!

Yippie! I'm now counting down my days to my ORD!! 14 mths to ORD! I koe this is a bit early.. but tml (in 4 hrs time) is exactly 1 year since I've enlisted into NS.. Man.. tat day I still can remember.. it was a sad and fateful day.. =(.. well.. if you want to recap the days, u can see it in the photo column, "My NS Enlistment Photos" under the section, Photo Gallery! Those photos certainly brings back lots of memories.. well.. enuf said!

Today as usual went for rehearsal at Tengnah Air Base.. today was with the supporting contingent.. today rite.. they also went for lunch and their uniform today seems to be a bit different frm us becos' GOH wear different t-shirt and wears the leather drill boots, while they wear those rubber boots!
Anyway, I suddenly felt tat as I walk past them, I felt a sense of pride of being GOH.. it is simply different loh!! ha..

Then when we went there, the main motive is to concentrate on the supporting contingent drills today becos they have not do drills for a long time.. unless us GOH.. we had done it like a trillion times!
Anyway, there was a point where it was time for us to so called "perform" our drills at the back of the supporting contingent.. we are like supser stress loh.. as if its not enuf, the parade RSM called us to stand in between the columns of the supporting contingent and face them while we do the drills together with the supporting contingent.. man.. tat was SUPER SUPER SUPER stress!! The sgts frm my base (but NOT frm my squardrons.. but I somehow koe them lah, becos' they colour party.. seen all of us like for abt 4-5 mths liaoz..) like told me quietly of how to correct my mistake after I executed the move.. like muz hold the rifle properly and stuff.. stress loh.. one of the 1SG (1st Sergeant) even asked me, "does this remind u of the first day in NDP?".. I of course answered, "Yes".. becos its like this is wat we do during the first NDP practice loh.. so ya.. again, it brought back many great memories..

As if its not stress enuf, I'm in the leading file of the march -in of the GOH.. but wats comforting is tat I'm in the center.. so not so bad.. but still stressful!!

I think I'm suffering frm a stress workout if worse still, I cld get a stress overload!! ahhhh... *screams in terror and fear*..

oh no.. I've juz experienced a sudden giddiness in my head.. maybe not enuf oxygen.. *eeks!*..

oh.. yesterday's Junyang performance was fabulous.. initially there were some cock-ups, but then, as time geos by, he excelled in it!! so ya.. but then, I read thru predictions tat he may be out of this contest tonite.. my goodness.. hope this ain't true! I voted for him twice yesterday! *keeping my fingers cross!*
Well.. no matter wat, he is my superstar already lah.. oh.. if he gets into the finals tonite, I'll be overjoyed and will definately buy his CD single to support him.. not to mention his personal album if he wins the title of "Project Superstar Champion!"

ok lah.. i've gtg and bathe and watch the video-taped performance of the gals' group liaoz.. then its to Channel U on TV to watch the results! *keeping my fingers cross and praying hard for Junyang to get in*

Anxiously waiting for results,
<<< abriel >>>

Rehearsals!

Well.. the day started with me waking up at 6.15am to fall in downstairs at 7am for our monthly affair of CO parade.. My sgt very funny.. he called us to be down at 7am, but then they themselves only come at 7.15am.. wat is this ?!? Was quite pissed lah at tat time..

Then after tat, went back to bunk and change into vest & slack and then went to canteen to have my breakfast..

After which, it is heading back to bunk and sleep for abt 2 hrs.. however, I think I did NOT sleep for the 2 hrs.. I was like tossing and turning.. so I think I slept only abt an hour..
Oh.. one of the sgt (who is the kao-pei one) actually shouted, "GOH" when I was abt to really fall asleep!!.. and then, all lazy to go out.. so only one of my bunk mates (who was nearest the door) open the door and take a look to see wat tat sgt was toking.. In the end, all of us were called to the door, becos he was kao-pei-ing tat GOH only have 1 person izzit.. and guess wat he told us.. he told us tat, "1030 go cookhouse and eat lunch!".. I was like, like tat, cannot tell one person and then ask tat person to pass msg?? Waste my time!!.. haiz..

Then its time for us to wake up and then fall in for going to Tengnah Air Base for our RSAF Day rehearsal.. but I guess tat the sgts will either be late or will again keep us waiting juz like in the morning, therefore I joined my friends for lunch at cookhouse.. and I'm glad I did.. becos' lunch was power! It was fried rice, satay, 2 lotong rice cubes and ar-char vegetable.. power sia!! didn't finish the rice though becos' I was so full, becos' of the heavy breakfast I ate like 2 hrs ago!

Then I was doing armskote today, becos no one seems want to do.. so I have to do loh.. so no choice.. haiz.. but ok lah..

We were then whisked off to Tengah Air Base, only to koe tat the rehearsal is starting at 1230 to 1300 like tat.. so ya.. we waited and waited..

So now the thing is not bad lah.. rehearsal quite slang, except for a particular move.. its different loh!! haiz..

Thank God it rained so the rehearsal has been cut short, becos the status of lightning and thunder only clear at 1800, and dinner not indented for us.. therefore, they no choice but to let us go!

Went home with Daren's dad car to AMK and then, its me taking bus home myself.. by right shld be tml 0745 bk in, but then becos' I got 3 extras to clear, therefore 2359 I have to bk in.. haiz.. juz got this sudden msg frm my sgt.. haiz.. gonna take a cab later into camp.. dun wanna go so late.. becos' tml 0600 have to fall in liaoz loh! haiz.. =(

Then tml I P1.. haiz.. so no coming back home tml.. again, I can't sleep at home!! arghh...

ok lah.. im gonna bathe and then leave to camp.. haiz.. =(

Feeling vexed,
<<< abriel >>>

Rotting..

Well.. today as usual in camp is as usual loh.. nothing much!

Almost slept the whole day.. too tired.. but tml have CO parade.. so this means tat 2359 I have to bk in.. on top of tat, tml have RSAF Day rehearsal at Tengah Air Base till abt 5+pm.. so by the time we bk out and I reach home, it wld be close to 8pm liaoz.. haiz..

ok lah.. I'm now frantically downloading Superstar stuff.. ha.. told u I was crazy abt them!! ha..

got to run.. catch u all tml..

All the best,
<<< abriel >>>

All good must come to an end..

*Weepz*.. today is my LAST day of my blocked off.. haiz.. =(.. guess all good things muz come to an end??

Anyway, I've done quite a lot of things this week.. and I believe it was reflected in my previous blogposts.. so I shall not repeat myself.. so let's see wat I did today..

This morning got awakened by my mum at 8am (gulpz!) after sleeping like 1am yesterday nite.. anyway, did wake up anyway.. did my QT and all.. and then, bathe and out of the hse I went with my dad and mum.. my sis got to stay at home to do her art work..

So its like after once we out of the hse, my mum decided to go and see my grandma who is in a Nursing Home, somewhere near Changi.. its a fortnightly affair lah..

Then after seeing my grandma, we went to Tampines Mall to collect my mum's pants frm Bossini which I've reserved for her a sales item!.. so ya..

Then after we proceeded to Bugis area and I brought my parents to have the popular beef kway teow at Purvis Street (The store juz states tat it is a popular beef kway teow frm Hock Lam Street (now converted to Funan Centre) since 1921 ).. not bad lah.. except I dun like the beef liver in the mixed kway teow dish (i order mix mah.. becos i like the tendons and stomach!! yummy!!).. but anyway, I juz eat lah!

Then we walk to Raffles City Shopping Centre for a while, before my dad treat my mum and I to coffee @ Starbucks!.. man.. drank a lot of coffee today.. 2 cups.. man.. now I think im suffering frm coffee addiction.. always tempted to drink coffee..

Anyway, then after tat, we proceeded to Funan and then shop for a monitor.. but wat I was surprised is tat I can't find a CRT monitor (ie, the boxed type) anymore.. so no choice but had to buy a LCD monitor instead.. manage to shop to a few shops and conpare prices and all.. and at last, manage to settle for one, a 17" Samsung LCD Monitor (Model: SyncMaster 710N).. got it at a promotion price of $399.. not bad lah hor!! quite a good buy!! =).. very happy.. at last now I've got a LCD monitor and u shld see tat smile on me and my sis face.. we are so happy.. becos' at last the computer table looks empty for once! gonna take care of this monitor!! =)

Then I've juz finish doing my cousin's blog.. I got so tired of the problems tat he may encounter during updating and stuff.. and therefore, I decided after like 50 mins of choosing blogskins, tat I shld choose for him a default skin instead.. but not only add in the blogskin.. I've also got to add in the tag-board for him and stuff and this takes time lah..

ok.. I think I've got to go and sleep liaoz.. its like in 5 hrs time, I've got to wake up and go back to camp.. tat sickening place again.. =(.. haiz..

Yawnz,
<<< abriel >>>

The weekend is here!! Yippie!!

Well.. this is gonna be a short one becos my com screen i think is dying.. gonna shop for a new one tml.. dun koe whether is CRV or LCD.. gonna see my mum's budget.. so yupz.. =)

Anyway, today got quite a few events.. here it is:

(a) This morning I woke up and spent close to a whole morning doing and revamping the blog for my sis.. becos' I got nothing to do.. so therefore, I offer to help loh.. wat a good bro am I rite.. ha..

(b) Then in the afternoon, since so far no recall, I felt tat it was save to go to church.. so I msg a few youths and told them I'm able to go to church.. and therefore I asked them whether they want me to be a guest pianist.. they gladly agreed.. becos there is a situation in my church tat both the youths and adult congregation are shortage of pianists.. so its like when I'm there, they wld like want me to play loh.. to enhance the worship mah.. but of course, since I'm still a youth (yes.. 21 yrs old still youth wat!), therefore, I decide to play for the youths instead.. but then, last minute the youth guest speaker can't come, so therefore, combined service with the adult congregation with Rev. Lawrence Seow being the speaker.. he was quite witty and funny in his sermon lah.. I enjoyed it throughly!
Today he spoke on the topic of "Faith" and it somehow struck a chord in my heart.. the theme verse was my theme verse when I was in Mission Trip in ChiangMai & ChiangRai.. it is taken from Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight."

(c) Played the piano for the combined service.. fortunately koe all the songs.. or else very difficult to play.. and to my surprise, I've add some nice enhanced chords and playing style to the song, "Lead Me To The Cross".. it was so refreshing.. and as I played the piano today at church, I felt a sort of "force" juz guiding me to play.. felt some shivers at certain pt.. I think tat was the Holy Spirit empowering me to play the chords after like 3 months which I did not play in church or touch the piano at all.. its juz really amazing..

(d) After service, went to mingle ard with some of the youths.. I've chatted with one of my best pals, Joshua Guow, abt his project and all.. Andrew on the other hand, came to say hi.. but we chatted more during dinner lah.. Then the person whom I wish to chat most with/have something impt to discuss, actually while I was frantically looking in space to see if there are any familiar ppl to chat with.. suddenly I've heard a gal's voice calling me.. and she is none other than my new 'piano-playing disciple' (whom I've juz recruited today.. haha.. sound like she is in NS or sumthing!), Xinyi.. Wanted to impart some of my skills to her but no time.. so today she tok to me abt Tjow's wedding and all.. and I decide to show her the ropes.. hope she has learnt sumthing frm me today?? I believe my disciple can do it.. won't she??

(e) Speaking of which abt Tjow's wedding, I'm now at a dilemma/crossroads of the leave problem.. lets juz say tat I dun want to waste a leave for Tjow's wedding, I juz want an off for it (a off means NO deduction of leave).. juz pray tat day is a rest day for us GOH ppl (becos' after the RSAF day on 1/9, there is the Change of Command (CoC) parade in early October.. so hope really tat day is a off for us and not some day which we have to mount?? Keeping fingers cross.. pray for me abt this issue too??

(f) Then went for dinner with the youths (sat on the same table with Andrew, Nat, Ashley Mok, Samuel Tan and the rest).. went to cuppage terrace and I ate the Thai Beef Kway Teow.. it was a total disappointment.. not nice and so little.. so expensive somemore.. haiz.. I've shld have ate char siew rice or sumthing like tat.. haiz.. Initially had a hard time finding a seats but after we are seated for 15mins, the crowd start to go and there were many empty seats! =) So stayed there and talk crap for a while..

(g) Then guess wat.. I msg my another one of my best pal in church, Alvin, and he actually rushed down to meet us.. So its like after 30 mins of after I msg him, he appeared!! Man.. tat was fast.. and I almost cld not recognise him.. he's changed so much and today he is totally sunburn.. machiam like some cooked lobster.. ha.. man.. I'm old.. even Alvin I can't recognise (juz abt 3 mths not mtg him!).. we then chatted close to an hour.. He and me juz kept sharing our woes and happiness in NSF life.. we had a good chat lah!! its been a long time since we've chatted so long!

(h) After tat, we all went to the pool-playing place at Meridian Hotel.. where Alvin and me see Nat, Ash, Andrew, Joshua Tan and some other ppl play pool.. at the pool playing place, we still talk abt camp stuff.. haiz.. Alvin & I juz talk a lot to each other today lah!!

(i) ok.. then guess wat!! my cousins actually got so bored tat they type my name and put in Yahoo! and then they found my blog and they msg me.. now I offered to help my cousin to do up a blog.. me and my big mouth.. =(.. but I guess its a sense of achievement??

ok lah.. I shall see how long I can further stay awake and this computer monitor of staying seen-able.. got to run..

Sleepy liaoz.. *Yawnz*,
<<< abriel >>>

A New Beginning!!

Well.. as you can see, I've again changed the skin of my blog.. becos' feel a bit bored at home and sick of my old skin.. so now I've changed it.. Moreover, you wld realised tat the music is a mandarin one.. which means tat I'm into Mandopop rite now!! never imagine tat I wld be into Mandopop.. but oh well!!

The only problem is tat the title of the blogpost can't be seen.. I'm still trying to figure out.. currently too tired to figure out, becos' I've been staring at my com (to surf net, check email, update blog and do a new blogskin).. i think got close to 8 hrs.. my eyes need to rest for the day.. so ya..

I hope you like this blogskin better than the previous one I had?? Comments pls on my Shoutbox (located in Wishlist)! Thanx!! =)

Ok lah.. really gtg liaoz..

Beach boy signing off,
<<< abriel >>>

What a day!

Well.. at last.. after a few times of rejection and difficulties, Marcus & I finally met and we have a whale of a time!! Let's see wat we did.. hmmm..

Met him out in the afternoon to make contact lens (oh.. he wanted to make.. not me.. I have already wat.. make for wat?!?).. and guess wat!! he actually has a very FAST reflex on his eyes.. which mean tat he spend over an hour juz to put 1 side in.. but still cannot after an hour.. So I went in and see whether I can help.. but instead no loh.. its still the same.. his reflex is simply very fast!! so he gave up in the end and decide to go back another time!
He was like groaning the whole time to me his disappointment tat he can't wear contacts.. Well.. he is a person of high dreams (ie, if he wants to get it, he MUST get it or else he wld be disappointed!).. but then, when he bought something he likes, he wld like forget his disappointment.. and tat is wat exactly he did!! he bought a $50 watch (no brand one lah.. except design not bad.. see the watch pic also in the outing pics tat i will upload)!!

After tat, I shopped and guess wat!! I've bought Cai Chun Jia (Joi Chua) LATEST CD.. her CD is good I tell u! You shld buy if you are a fan of mandopop (which my current craze is mandopop lah!).. Moreover, got the nice NDP song, "Uniquely You" (Mandarin Version).. very nice.. got MTV somemore! Go buy lah! =)

After tat, we went to Bugis Village to shop for CDs which are selling cheap @ $7.. becos' you koe y?? The CDs sold there are china imported.. so its cheaper! but cld not find a CD tat I want.. so therefore, I did not buy anything..
On the other hand, Marcus hands got itchy

Yesterday at Bugis seemed like everywhere both of us went, I always seen some familiar faces.. in fact, 4 to be exact!! What a small world!!

After tat, we walked almost the whole bugis area (including pervis street, north bridge road, roads near national library, Chimjes, raffles city and cityhall), before deciding tat we eat at Marina Square Shopping Centre Curry Noodles.. the curry noodles there are not bad.. you shld try!! I actually recommend Marcus the curry noodles, and he also agreed tat its worth the $4 you paying for!

Then after tat, we wanted to chill.. The initial plan was to go to Harry's Bar @ Esplanade.. but then both of us find the environment not so suitable.. so we gave up tat idea.. so in the end, we decide tat we go to TCC @ Citylink Mall.. the ambience there is good.. look at the uploaded pics entitled, "2 Boy's Outing!".. I ate the Chilled Lime Souffle and its yummy!! Both of us on a scale of 10, give perfect scores for it! its tat yummy!! It has tat tangy and zesty taste of lime!!

And we sat at TCC till like frm 8+pm-9.30pm.. and we juz talk and chill out and eat our food and drink our drinks.. the drinks are also quite nice.. u see the photos then u koe.. Then he said something which made me think tat its true.. he said the following:
" Both of us have things in common: likes shopping, eating, making ourselves look good (also known as VAIN lah!) and loves sour stuff!! The more sour, the better it is!!"..
Which is quite true lah.. I wonder whether if we are blood brothers in our previous life (ha.. if you believe!).. well.. frankly speaking, its cool to have such a brother at times.. at least both of us wont quarrel! ha..

Well.. really had a great time with him today.. its been a day man!! by the time I reached home, its like 10.30pm.. then I sat down and watch the recorded version of the Superstar programme.. and now, I'm writing this blogpost!!

*yawnz*.. time to sleep.. tired!!

Eyes closing and the holidays for me has juz started,
<<< abriel >>>

2 more days!!

Yes!! 2 more days to NDP 2005!! You can say I'm partly excited and I'm partly sianz!!

Excited is becos this is such a great honour to be involved in the Air Force Guard of Honour (GOH)Contingent of NDP 2005!! Its like our hard's work being paid off on 9 Aug 2005, since we've started practicing immensely on April 2005.. anyway, have sent a self-advert (in an email) of where my position is and etc! Some of you may have read my email.. so ya.. =)

Wat's sianz is tat I have to bk in 0745 tml and NOT coming home at nite.. becos' NDP is next day..

But wat is good after tat is tat we have blocked off frm wed (10/8) to sun (14/8).. coming back to camp on mon (15/8) for practicing another occasion (which is the RSAF Day on 1/9).. so its back to more drills again!!
However, they may a slight chance tat I may be called back to do P1 [becos' I kenna 3 extras.. remember the incident??.. juz hope I'm not activated loh.. if so, then its God's Will.. =( ]

Oh.. so lets say if I'm not called back to do P1, then I wld go out with Marcus either on wed or thurs.. to accompany him to make contacts! Yeh!! successfully psycho another person to do contact lens (see.. i told you before tat Marcus is like me.. as VAIN as me.. hahaz!).. maybe I shld get a commission for this?? ha.. when I'm out with Marcus, I wld wear contacts.. to let him see how convenient it is!! ha.. so anyone of you want to make contacts, come find me ya.. I got lobang =)

ok lah.. gtg and sleep liaoz.. but b4 I sleep, need to help my church mate, Joshua, in his chart problems on MS Word! consultant here.. ha.. hmm.. y am I so thick-skin?? ha.. =)

Oh.. before I go, HAPPY NATIONAL DAY everyone!! =)

Reach out for the skies,
<<< abriel >>>

Tired...

Well.. this morning went to camp by cab.. waited for one friend for 30 minutes, only to koe tat he came back to camp at 3am this morning.. and worst still.. he never told us.. he 'very good' loh.. arghh... all of us scolded him after we koe the reason why he did not inform us, despite me making 3 calls to him and he did not pick up!

then the sgt also a bit weird.. this morning suppose to bk in 9am.. but then 11am, then fall in for going for rehearsal.. made us wait for 2 hrs.. a bit stupid right?? i cld have sleep more at home..

anyway, went for lunch at cookhouse at 11am but then the person told us tat we cannot eat yet, becos the scanning machine is not on.. so anyway, the BOS (Base Orderly Sgt) was our staff sgt in our squadron.. so by the time he came and on the scanning machine, its abt 11.30pm.. so we ate and ate.. then the sgt was rushing us for time.. so its like i stuff everything in my mouth! almost died of stuffing!! ha..

Then there came the time where we reach the holding area.. and guess wat.. its me eating again!! this time, its Pizza Hut and its lunch! so practically, I ate 2 lunches (one at camp and one at the holding area)..

So after lunch and slacking, we went to Padang for our rehearsal.. did our rehearsal frm abt 2pm-4.30pm.. then after tat, its going home.. so by the time i reach camp, its abt 6+pm.. came home becos' my friend's dad gave me a lift to AMK MRT station, so then, I took bus home.. initially was take cab with him, but then his dad came, so might as well..

so reach home at abt 7+pm and then watch my taped programs.. then came online loh! =)

now psycho-ing my friend (Marcus lah! who u thinking?) to wear contacts! haha.. he also as vain as me.. =P

ok.. gtg liaoz.. time to be a psycho-ist!

born to psycho ppl,
<<< abriel >>>

My goodness!!

Well.. exclaimation is the attitude to this post! becos of the various reasons.. here it is:

(a) Bought a VCR.. FINALLY!

Finally after so many weeks of consideration, I finally got myself a VCR!! Went to Gain City (DBS Centre @ Tampines) and got it.. Its the brand, Toshiba and it costs me $89 (UP: $139).. good buy right?? its their opening sale! There is another brand, Sharp, but then, it costs $115.. when I ask the salesperson wat the difference, they said its juz the brand difference!
So since its juz the brand difference, I might as well buy the cheaper one! Common sense mah! ha..
So this means tat I can tape like any programs I want anytime I want! Yeh!!

(b) Hong Junyang IN!!

Well.. if you are a fan of Project Superstar (esp. the contestant, Hong Junyang), you wld be happy to koe tat Hong Junyang got into the 3rd Semi Finals! So happy ah.. so happy.. hahaz..

(c) Slept at 12 midnight yesterday!

Well yes! .. seldom I wld sleep this late, except tat on Thurs.. in order to koe the results of Project Superstar (which is showing on Thurs, 11.30pm), had to sleep this late loh! The sacrifice of watching TV!! ha..

(d) Spent 2 hrs on setup of VCR!

Well.. yes! Spent 2 hrs.. then when I think back, the setup was so easy.. didn't koe y I took 2 hrs! haha.. and I actually prayed before I start! Impressive huh?? =)
But I did 1 dangerous stunt today.. I did NOT off the main switch when I was fixing up the VCR.. thank goodness never kenna electric shock! ha..
Tried this and tat.. and finally, I got familiarised with the VCR liaoz.. =)
Oh.. during the setup session, I have to use a tape which I have to test as to whether my VCR is working.. so I took my last yr's mission trip (with ForeRunners) communication skills lesson tape (which is caught on video-tape and its given to us as a souvenir after the trip).. and it certainly brings back a LOT of fond memories.. haiz.. those were the days...

(e) A surprising call!

Yesterday before I went to shop for the VCR, I got a call frm my sgt tat I was to report back to camp yesterday nite @ 2359 for an NDP observance parade today (Fri).. but I told my officer and sgts tat I was on leave today (fri) and my officer agreed.. so apparently they forgot lah.. even my officer also forget.. my officer only remember when I called him personally and remind him.. then he was like "oh yah ah.. you on leave.. u come back tml [fri] 2359!".. so there I were loh.. gave me a shock of my life!
So once @ nite, I send a reminder sms to my officer and sgt reminding them again tat I'm on leave today (fri).. juz in case mah!!

(f) Going back @ 2359 =(.. BUT...

haiz.. on leave really very shiok!! can slack at home.. dun need to see my sgt face and face the four walls!! its really very boring in camp!! at home even though i dun go out, but its still better becos got computer and TV to watch!!
So all things muz come to an end.. so tonite muz bk in 2359 loh.. haiz.. =(.. BUT this is history liaoz, becos' my sgt juz sent a msg over saying tat instead of me bking in 2359 tonite, its 0900 tml.. so Yeah!! =)

ok lah.. dun u think this post is really filled with exclaimations?? ha..
gtg liaoz..

Jue2 Dui4 [Superstar], You2 Ni3 Jiu4 You2 Ta1,
<<< abriel >>>

Chasing stars..

ha.. weird title right?? But I think I'm crazy abt the show, Project Superstar showing on Channel U on Wed & Thurs, 8.30pm.. (ie, the Manadarin version of Singapore Idol).. currently thinking tat the contestant, Hong Junyang, is the BEST! Believe it or not.. I downloaded his recorded songs by his fans tat attend the live recording.. ha.. weird rite?? Well.. juz think tat I'll be chasing some mandarin pop singer now?? ha.. *this chase is killing me*..
Interested to koe who he is and how he looks like (oh.. i think he can be considered as my senior liaoz.. becos' he once was a saint at St. Andrew's Junior College.. well.. u can visit this webbie to find out more abt him: http://superstar.channelu.com.sg/project/male04.htm)

oh.. am thinking of getting a vcr player, becos there are a lot of nice shows on TV, but sometimes no chance to watch.. well.. will see how lah..

ok.. gtg.. oh.. there are 3 shows which u shld catch tonite and they are:

(a) Project Superstar (Females competing against each other) on Channel U at 8.30pm

(b) Focus (aka Jiao Dian) on Channel 8 at 10.30pm (which will be featuring the making of NDP 2005.. MUST watch!!)

(c) Project Superstar Results on Channel U at 11.30pm (see who will be the unfortunate 2 who will be eliminated frm the contest!)

k lah.. gtg liaoz.. maybe will make a trip someday to Giant Supermarket to see whether got lobangs on VCRs.. see how lah.. =)

ok.. really gtg..

watching and glued to my TV set 2nite,
<<< abriel >>>

Back to normal..

Well.. first & foremost, I wld like to thank all those who had sent well-wishes to me concerning my unmentionable issue! Really appreciate lots! Thanx 4 all your concern! I'm really touched by ur act of concern, and I sincerely and frm the bottom of my heart, I wld like to say THANK YOU!

At the time of writing this post, the flobble chatterbox had to break down at this time.. so I can't read it.. but be rest assured tat I will read it asap ok?? If you feel tat wat u said is too long or u want to say something urgent to me, you can communication will get ur msg faster and will NEVER break down.. ha.. anyway, up to you lah.. this shoutbox of mine is still down.. can't read!! =(

Anyway, life is back to normal at camp! Had my P1 yesterday, therefore I didn't come back home.. my verdict was passed down yesterday.. so here is the brief (i hope!) of wat happened yesterday!

Yesterday morning, I got called in by my own PC (who is an officer who is directly in-charge of me) and he actually emptied everyone in the room and he spoke to me in private! I thought this time, 'die! my officer is bound to scold me'.. and true enuf, he actually spoke to me in a very angry tone and his replies and tone of questioning were mostly exclaimated (if you koe wat I mean!).. What I dun understand is tat why must he fumed up.. can't he talk to me nicely?? but wat I did at tat time was juz sitting there like a poor cat and kept admitting tat its my fault! Even when after I admitted tat its my fault and then thought out of courtesy, gave him a suggestion to prevent frm such things to happen in future (becos there were similar cases too before but not as serious as mine!).. but in the end, I got scolded instead.. he said tat it is my fault and I shld not blame the system.. at some pt, I juz wanted to flare up and reason out with my officer, but did not do so, becos' no pt.. he is higher ranking than me and I'm more in fault than him (frankly speaking, if I got into trouble, he will get abt 60%-70% of the blame too.. becos he is somewat directly related to this case..).. but anyway, I'm glad I didn't flare up or sumthing.. or else I dun koe wat will happen to me further!
So anyway, my PC called in another person and then talk it out, before going on-site to check it out and see wat's wrong.. However, after like abt an hour of discussion, they still can't find the cause/root of the problem! However, I have to have my punishment becos its the normal rules in my shift.. was originally slated to have 7 extra duties given by my PC.. but then, after an hour, one person told me tat my 7 extras had been reduced to 3, becos' he had helped me 'fight' my case.. so yupz.. Hearing in disbelieve, I called my sgt and ask him and he said yes.. tentatively is 3 but still discussing, so its not confirmed.. so will appreciate more prayers on this (tat it is still 3 no matter wat?).. thanx! =)

*thump*.. at last the issue has been more or less been settled.. a load off my chest! but juz thinking of it juz brings back some bad memories and sadness.. and the thought of serving my extras is a bit demoralising.. imagine ppl bk out but u serve ur extra (either as P1 or confined or worse still, mount duty!).. haiz.. =(

Ok.. enuf abt my issue back at camp.. on a lighter note, today at camp was quite normal loh.. nothing really happened in camp, except tat this morning, went with my P1 grp to mount duty (was mounting the duty of a 'checker'.. which means I have to check ALL the cars tat are entering the base.. and its a thorough one.. so its quite tiring.. considering tat I think I've checked abt 50-60 cars for the time I stand there!.. no time for even a breather.. the cars juz kept coming in!!.. I tried my very best to speed up the checks already, but then, there are some female drivers and for female drivers and passengers, it wld take a bit longer, becos' besides me checking their car, they also have to walk thru the metal-detector in the x-ray room.. so its like once they are back frm the x-ray room, then I can check their car! its the rules of my squadron lah.. so of course, most of the base personnel are ok with it.. they did not complain anything.. but then, of course, there are 1 or 2 who is a bit more Singaporean i muz say, in a sense tat they complain.. but not in a nice tone.. they complain as if they want to eat you up!.. yupz.. some ppl can be juz bad!).. dun koe why this particular shift always not enuf ppl.. the other shift even lesser ppl but always enuf.. maybe the PC for the particular shift (I mounted with) purposely want us to come down?? I dun really koe.. but thank goodness they still have a heart, tat once after the peak hour is gone, we left the 'scene' and went back to bunk and resume our normal routine!

Then got a good news frm my sgt tat tml's (thurs) NDP rehearsal is cancelled.. so tat means tat we can come back on thurs morning instead of tonite 2359 timing! but my officer owe my grp mass off (which the rest took either on mon or tues.. but due to unforeseen circumstances, my P1 grp did not take it).. so we decide to take tml(thurs) off so fri come back.. but then, juz before I went to camp on tues (ie, mon nite), something prompt me to apply leave on Fri (i actually wanted to take on Friday liaoz.. but then think its too early and moreover at tat time, my issue was not settled yet and i dun want to agitate my officer further).. anyway, on the same nite, 30 mins later, my officer agreed my leave.. So the next day (ie, tues) when I went back to camp, some NDP observance parade is taking place on fri.. so by right I cannot take leave on fri.. but becos' I applied my leave earlier, therefore, after asking my officer, he still agreed on my leave tat its still on! So tat means today I came back after 5pm, and will only be back in camp on fri, 2359!.. isn't tat shiok? thanx God!.. juz hope tat my leave on fri doesn't be cancelled?? *crosses fingers*..

then today on bus (whilst coming home), something very funny happen.. I was listening to the radio on Class 95 and there is this segment called "Back to the old school" whereby you can request watever song u want with ur story behing ur song, and the DJ (which is Jean Danker) will read it out and play the corresponding song.. so suddenly a thought came to my mind tat whether I shld send an entry to try my luck.. just as I was contemplating and almost gave up the idea, immediately the song tat I thinking to request for was being played on the radio.. it was the song, "If We Hold On Together" by Diana Ross.. its such a touching song.. sometimes when I listen to tat song, I wld juz cry.. anyway, isn't it weird and funny tat such things happen?? hmmm...

oopss.. I think my blogpost is too long.. you want to sleep liaoz?? ha.. I shall spare you the torture! ha..

Pls. remember to keep me in prayer?? Thanx! =)

Thinking wat to do these few days on off/leave,
<<< abriel >>>

Does committing suicide settles all issues?

Man.. I wrote this post with much heaviness in my heart, becos' YES! I got into trouble again.. this time is dealing sumthing with the most impt item to a soldier (you all go and figure it out!) .. can't exactly say wat it is or describe the situation, becos' its also a sensitive issue.. so yupz.. this issue is serious, in a sense tat if I dun get this problem solved asap or , I may have a chance of getting into deep trouble.. so yupz.. pls. keep me in prayer?? Thanx!
*PS: When u see me, pls. do NOT ask me abt this issue can?? I wanna forget this issue altogether and dun wanna make myself miserable the whole day juz becos of this issue.. ya get wat I'm toking rite?? Thanx!

This matter is making me sianz the whole day since yesterday (I only knew abt this matter yesterday! was at camp for the wkend becos' I'm wkend P1.. so can't come back for the wkend.. only this morning juz bk out loh.. going back to camp tml..).. lost my appetite and at one pt, I got so desperate and driven to one corner, I suddenly told my sgt tat I wanted to commit suicide *yeeks*.. yes! I was tat driven to one corner and thus hving suicidal thoughts!.. thank goodness I was all right after a while and did not thought of it anymore! But when night falls, I was thinking to myself, doesn't commiting suicide and if I die, this issue will then be settled once and for all..
So I tried the whole day yesterday to occupy myself with sumthing to do, in order to forget the issue altogether.. Thank goodness for my P1 mates, tat even though they played tricks on me, but surprisingly, tat helps me to divert my attention to sumthing else.. so I guess those tricks really help? ha..

This morning woke up with a heavy feeling in my heart, becos' this morning the verdict of whether I will get into serious or minimal trouble will be determined today.. but then, due to unforeseen circumstances, the verdict will be postponed to tml.. so went back to bunk (after sending back my rifle to the armoury, and bk out after tat) and change and bk out.. by the time I reach home, its abt 10am..

Was supposed to go out with Marcus today.. but since the issue has not been settled, therefore, I decide to cancel the outing.. no mood to go out lah.. =(.. Just hope I'm not suffering frm any depression??

Wat is this world coming too? =(,
<<< abriel >>>